Adios

Today, July 14th, is my last day here at OSSO in Cuenca, Ecuador. I had my last shift this morning in OSSO's house for it's youngest children. As I have said goodbye and had my last shifts at the different sites, things have gotten harder and harder. Each goodbye builds upon the previous. I not only say goodbye to the kids I am leaving right then, but also remember and say goodbye to the ones I have already left. Today I said goodbye to over five different houses/orphanages.  This time instead of saying...

And at that very moment the computer shut off and would not turn back on so today July 21 I am finishing this post.  The computer shut off just as I was in the middle talking about saying goodbye. In Ecuador people generally say chao to say goodbye. But for our last goodbye many of us used adios.  To God.  Because that is who we are leaving these children to. Leaving was hard, but being home is almost harder. Chances are I will never see these children again. But the hardest part is I will never truly be able to pay these children back for all the good they taught me.  All I can do is try to take what they have taught me, remember it, and incorporate these lessons into my everyday life.

While in Ecuador I didn't realize how good I had it or how much I really learned. But being home I have seen how much I took for granted while in Ecuador. Being home I miss everything about Ecuador.  I miss hearing spanish. I miss seeing the traditionally dressed women walking down the street. I miss the really good bad drivers. I miss the songs I heard on the radio. Most of all I miss the kids.  Being home everything I see reminds me of little things in Ecuador.  Even things like kitchen clean-up, or the way a person says something.  It's a lot harder coming home than going to Ecuador. The first few days in Ecuador were a little overwhelming, but after the first 3 days I was in love with Cuenca.  I never expected that coming home I would feel that I have come home to a foreign country. I find myself amazed at the complaints people make everyday. I am taken back by how much stuff that I have. I feel I am doing something wrong every time I flush TP down toilet. I can drink out of the faucet. The showers stay warm and had reliable water pressure.  I can't sleep in past 7:30 am. I don't like sitting still. I get bored. I think of my kids. Ecuador was easy. Real life is hard. But without struggle there is no reward. I am ready and excited for new experiences. This was a life changing experience that will stay with me forever.  As life goes on I will do my best to take the simple joys found in Ecuador to make my Big Wonderful Life the best that it can be.

*note names of children &/or houses they stayed in have been changed for the privacy of the children.

My last Friday

It´s hard to explane everything that goes on here. I´m not a big writer. Unless you are here, doing what I do with these amazing kids, then you cannot completely understand the feelings and heartache that goes on.  I wish I could convey all that goes on in words, but I can´t. I am currently looking at my lasts. The last Friday here in Cuenca(today).My last shopping trips. My last talks with my roommates. My last tastes of Tutto Freddo´s unbeatable Limon ice cream. My last days with the kids I love. Here the weeks pass far too quickly and the month I have spent here has felt like a short moment.  Time is not wasted. The time spent in service is savored more than the moments alone.  9 hours a day. 7 days a week. Out the door by 7am, and asleep by 10 pm.  People tell me what I am doing is hard. But for some reason it does not feel that way.  I enjoy waking up for the day ahead of me. I am excited to explore and create with the ones I love.  I get to experience the joys of improvement in the growth of children and all those around me. I become more humble each day, because I recieve so much more than I give back. I am endlessly loved. I will admit that it is easier to do and serve here. All our other decisions are made for us. We don´t need to shop for our food. We don´t need to worry about school. We don´t have outside distractions. So it is easy to become absorbed in the service that we do. But most of the enjoyment and ease come from the kids we work with.

About half of the kids we work with have special needs. For most we are their temporary hands. Here on earth they cannot do what  they need for themselves so it becomes our job to help them. They are so incredibly perfect that they serve us each day by letting us help and serve them.  I was almost suprised by my joy when I found out that one of the little boys I work with, Denny, is getting a feeding tube surgery today. I´m not positive but I believe he is 4 years old. Ever since he was a baby, he has stuggled to swallow anything, and is practically skin and bone.  He cried anytime he had to eat, and would almost always throw half of it up.  But now because of the work of one of my roommates, Abby, and many donations, I am able to see a miracle.

Another child that has had an impact upon my life is Jacob. He and Denny are both at the orphanage we volunteer at in Azogues.  Jacob also struggles to eat. We had hoped to provide Jacob with a feeding tube as well, but one of the doctors said that he does not need one. We are now hoping to put the money raised towards a speech therapist that will help him learn to swallow.  The part of him that has changed me and my outlook is his endless happiness for others.  The first time I met him, I immediately saw his smile, and since then I have seen that he smiles for others more than himself.  Whenever I work at Azogues I always want to see Jacob. Most often he is sitting in a carseat on the floor, watching the other kids play. He smiles when he sees you smiling. He smiles when he hears a child laughing. He smiles because he´s happy that others are happy.  His joy is endless because he is able to find joy all around him no matter the circumstance he is in.  I want to be more like him, because if everyone were more like Jacob, the world would be a much better place. As I look towards my lasts, I hope to remember all the memories made with the amazing kids, and give back as much as I can in these last precious moments with them.

*note that names of the children &/or orphanages have been changed to protect the privacy of the children.

Missing the 4th of July

Somehow, all things American become sooo much better here in Ecuador.  I will miss the 4th of July. I miss the front yard BBQ´s.  I miss green grass that I can play on.  I want fireworks I can see and not just hear. I will enjoy coming back where I can walk by unnoticed. I can´t wait to come back to a ward that sings the hymns the same way I do. Can´t wait for better plumbing, and trustworthy water pressure. I can´t wait to go shopping and get a big jar of PB that´s less than $20. I miss the smiles I saw everyday. But I love the smiles I see here. I love the laughter. I love each day. Every day here is another adventure as I serve the these children and add another page to my big wonderful life.

Less than Two Weeks Left...

I have less than two weeks left here in Cuenca, Ecuador, but more importantly with my kids.  That´s what these children have become. I love them so much. It is hard to think of leaving them so quickly after spending so much time with them. Seeing them progress. These kids do not get a lot of individual interaction without us, so even missing a shift with them makes me worry. Luckily, I have not had to miss even one shift with them yet. Interaction is so important for these kids. At my off site Azogues, the babies are ahead of other babies in other orphanages some areas of developement because they recieve a lot of interaction with the older children. Although it can be chaotic, the interaction is so important. It is hard to see the children in Azogues in poor conditions, but some ways very well off because of them.  The children at any orphanage, although  they may be in a better environment than some, struggle to progress developmentaly if they are not given enough interaction and stimulation.  But even in the few weeks I have been here I have seen the importance of interaction.  Marcia, who wouldn´t even reach for toys, is now playing with toys, sitting up, and rolling over.  Marianna, is talking to me, and trying to play with me. Paco, is now saying other words besides NO. Eddy, is walking short distances by himself! These children have become my life. I see them 9 hours a day. 50 hours a week. I love them soooo much.  All the dirty diapers in the world could not make me regret this trip.  The acts of love are not simply hugs. They are the services given each day. The hardest part is, I feel like I have gotten so much more out of this than the children have. All I can do is start each day with the intent to love these kids for the short amount of time I have left.

*note names of children &/or orphanages have been changed to protect the children's privacy.

What Makes Ecuador an Adventure:

There are many differences here that are hard to explane if you have not experienced them yourself. I try to explane as best I can over a blog, but it´s hard. I am a much better story teller than writer. But after church yesterday, I decided I´d like to try to share some of the little diferences with you.  Church here in Ecuador is great. It´s got the same spirit, but every note, key, and rhythm on each hymn is different. That´s one thing I actually really like, well for now atleast. Right now it just makes me laugh. Another difference is the climate. It is not warm and sunny like it had just started being in utah. It is cold, and rainy. It´s winter here in Cuenca, Ecuador and the coldest month is believed to be July. But it´s kept me from a sun burn... or any tan at all. Next up is the shopping experience. Not only can you not leave the OSSO house without atleast one other person during the day and 3 others at night, but I´m not sure you could classify these places as shops. They are markets mostly with an overwhelming amount of....for lack of a better word, junk. And not just any junk, they all pretty much have the same junk for different prices. The food here is not as different as I thought it would be. Lunch is the main meal here and always includes rice. Nothing is really spicy here, but it´s not very sweet eather. They also have the best bread. I´m almost always drawn strait to the bread containers while lounging around the kitchen.  The absolute best thing though is Tutte Freddo´s. This great ice cream shop that has Limon (lemon) ice cream that I can´t seem to pass up. Last time Shannon and I went shopping, we went there twice. The biggest difference is the language. I came here with almost no spanish experience or study and now I am catching on out of necessity. It no longer sounds like a long stream of gibberish. It just sounds like alot of words I don´t know and maybe one word that I do. Here there is so much structure, there is alot of time. And most the that time is spent focusing on the things that really matter like service, scripture reading, prayer, and personal growth.

There are also alot of similarities here. There are still many who care. There are still those who swear beneath their breath alot. There are still those who burp without saying excuse me. There are still the very select few that smack you on the butt. The previous four traits can be found in one of the workers at Osso's neighbor orphanage, named Betty.  Although she can be strict and somewhat hard to work with at times, she love the kids and shows it through her actions and devotion to them. There are still those who laugh at nothing. Ricardo, one of the little babies wouldn´t drink his bottle last night because any time I looked at him he´d start laughing. Apparently my face was funny, cause I honestly wasn´t even doing anything.  There are still friends who care about you, so much so they become almost a part of your family. There are still those great examples all around. There is still and always will be the love of Christ for each and every individual.

There are many similarities mixed in with many differences, but that is what makes this an adventure in my Big Wonderful Life.

*note names of children &/or orphanages have been changed to protect the privacy of the children.

My Contrast

Tuesday I worked at my off site (an orphanage we visit once or twice a week for one shift). My site was Azogues. This site is very different than the usual orphanages we work in. It was what I call the contrast. The orphanages we mainly work in are OSSO`s orphanage and OSSO's neighbor (an orphanage worked by kind Catholic Nuns).  These orphanages have many children but are split into different houses that have around 5 to 8 kids each.  They are clean, organized, fairly consistant and stable (as much as an orphanage can be), and have lots of love to share.  Azogues is a completely different experience.  When we arrived I was honestly shocked. I didn`t know what to expect, but I did not expect what I came to.  There were 27 kids and 2 workers. One worker did school classes while the other kept the other children alive. We came in to what seemed a little bit like chaos.  But without Azogues, these kids wouldn´t have a place to go.  As I swept up, paint from the wall crumbled onto the floor. The dishes were piled far too high. No one had any personal space.  The only part that was at all similar to our regular orphanages was the resiliance and the love that the children had.  They were so accepting and excited to have us there.  I couldn`t help but love them.  It was emotionally draining though.  I wanted to do more. I wanted to be able to help them. I could hardly believe the conditions they were in.  All I could do was love them and do my best to let them know that there are soooo many that care for them. The hardest part was that we could either clean one thing very well, or everything okay.  And even after we cleaned, it didn`t take long for it to seem like we had done nothing. But I knew that we had, and the workers and the kids were better off than without us.  I have tried to say that this experience was not hard. But if it wasn`t hard I wouldn`t have anything that I learned much from. I can definitely say that this experience is hard, but I am so happy that it is because I am learning sooooooo much from it.  Around the osso house there are quotes every where that mostly talk about how children are a way  we see heaven on earth and that we are God`s hands that can help show his love for all his children.  That is so true.  These children, although they may misbehave sometimes, they simply want to know they are loved.  We have so much to give, and although donations and things are nice, there is nothing better than time and love.  These kids have quickly become my life.  I love them so much and all I want to do is help them as much as possible in the 3 weeks I have left.  There is nothing better than a child sharing their love through their smile.

*note names of children &/or orphanages have been changed to protect the privacy of the children.

Keep Smiling

Have you ever just decided to begin smiling for a minute? Did you then forget that you were only smiling for a minute and continued smiling? I have.  Here in Cuenca, it is the smiles that make the difference.  The children I see everyday are so amazing. Many have been through countless trials, yet, all continue smiling.  They don´t act as if their life is hard. They don´t complain that their cell phones are too old or too slow, because they don´t even have much of a chance of owning one.  They have been through hard times that I cannot even imagine, yet they continue to love through their smiles.  There is no better sight than that of a beaming smile.  They teach me everyday to keep smiling no matter my circumstance.  On my hardest day I cannot know what these children have experienced, I can only try my best to give them all that I have each day, and learn as much as I can from them.

And so It Begins...

Today was my second day on the job. Things here are so different here.  I am in Cuenca, Ecuador serving in orphanages through OSSO (www.orphanagesupport.org).  The internet usually works but is slow and the wifi can cut out alot so I hope to blog as often as possible, but they will probably be full of mistakes and errors due to time and conditions. Life is definitely simpler and different here, but it´s a good change and experience in my life.  The work in the orphanages is definitely hard but worth it.  The little kids warm up to you so fast.  For my first shift I went to the orphanage OSSO Alegria. This orphanage mostly has toddlers with disabilities.  One of the girls came up to me and started sayin "I love you, I love you" in her oh so cute spanish accent. I hadn´t even played with her or helped her do anything yet. The little english she knew was "I love you" and "Oh my gosh!" haha. Even though I am in a new place with new and different ways of life, this little girl showed me what OSSO is really about.  We give them love and as much as it doesn´t always seem that we are doing alot, it makes all the difference in their lives.

*note, that names of the children have been changed in posts in order to respect rules and policies and keep the privacy of the children.

Welcome to my Big Wonderful Life

This is the first of many posts to come about my big wonderful life. Instead of deleting the previous posts from years ago, I decided to add on to them and simply change the blog to fit my purposes.  This blog is titled "Welcome to my Big Wonderful Life" because of a talk I had months ago with my step-mom Kim.  While sitting in church (obviously not paying as much attention as we should have) we passed a sheet of paper back and forth and had a quiet conversation on it.  This conversation most likely took place in February.  We mostly talked about the trip to Ecuador that I would be taking that summer.  As we talked she told me about the Bot Fly, and many unpleasant things that I just might encounter in Ecuador.  She then proceeded to say "welcome to your big wonderful life."  Although in the sequence of the conversation that phrase was a bit ironic, we both knew it was true.  So when choosing what to call this new chapter in my life, I could think of nothing better than to use that simple phrase.  As I travel to Ecuador on my first adventure after graduating high school, I am sure to encounter all sorts of new things. I may like some of them and others not so much. But I am sure to find that my life is big and wonderful.