Adios

Today, July 14th, is my last day here at OSSO in Cuenca, Ecuador. I had my last shift this morning in OSSO's house for it's youngest children. As I have said goodbye and had my last shifts at the different sites, things have gotten harder and harder. Each goodbye builds upon the previous. I not only say goodbye to the kids I am leaving right then, but also remember and say goodbye to the ones I have already left. Today I said goodbye to over five different houses/orphanages.  This time instead of saying...

And at that very moment the computer shut off and would not turn back on so today July 21 I am finishing this post.  The computer shut off just as I was in the middle talking about saying goodbye. In Ecuador people generally say chao to say goodbye. But for our last goodbye many of us used adios.  To God.  Because that is who we are leaving these children to. Leaving was hard, but being home is almost harder. Chances are I will never see these children again. But the hardest part is I will never truly be able to pay these children back for all the good they taught me.  All I can do is try to take what they have taught me, remember it, and incorporate these lessons into my everyday life.

While in Ecuador I didn't realize how good I had it or how much I really learned. But being home I have seen how much I took for granted while in Ecuador. Being home I miss everything about Ecuador.  I miss hearing spanish. I miss seeing the traditionally dressed women walking down the street. I miss the really good bad drivers. I miss the songs I heard on the radio. Most of all I miss the kids.  Being home everything I see reminds me of little things in Ecuador.  Even things like kitchen clean-up, or the way a person says something.  It's a lot harder coming home than going to Ecuador. The first few days in Ecuador were a little overwhelming, but after the first 3 days I was in love with Cuenca.  I never expected that coming home I would feel that I have come home to a foreign country. I find myself amazed at the complaints people make everyday. I am taken back by how much stuff that I have. I feel I am doing something wrong every time I flush TP down toilet. I can drink out of the faucet. The showers stay warm and had reliable water pressure.  I can't sleep in past 7:30 am. I don't like sitting still. I get bored. I think of my kids. Ecuador was easy. Real life is hard. But without struggle there is no reward. I am ready and excited for new experiences. This was a life changing experience that will stay with me forever.  As life goes on I will do my best to take the simple joys found in Ecuador to make my Big Wonderful Life the best that it can be.

*note names of children &/or houses they stayed in have been changed for the privacy of the children.

My last Friday

It´s hard to explane everything that goes on here. I´m not a big writer. Unless you are here, doing what I do with these amazing kids, then you cannot completely understand the feelings and heartache that goes on.  I wish I could convey all that goes on in words, but I can´t. I am currently looking at my lasts. The last Friday here in Cuenca(today).My last shopping trips. My last talks with my roommates. My last tastes of Tutto Freddo´s unbeatable Limon ice cream. My last days with the kids I love. Here the weeks pass far too quickly and the month I have spent here has felt like a short moment.  Time is not wasted. The time spent in service is savored more than the moments alone.  9 hours a day. 7 days a week. Out the door by 7am, and asleep by 10 pm.  People tell me what I am doing is hard. But for some reason it does not feel that way.  I enjoy waking up for the day ahead of me. I am excited to explore and create with the ones I love.  I get to experience the joys of improvement in the growth of children and all those around me. I become more humble each day, because I recieve so much more than I give back. I am endlessly loved. I will admit that it is easier to do and serve here. All our other decisions are made for us. We don´t need to shop for our food. We don´t need to worry about school. We don´t have outside distractions. So it is easy to become absorbed in the service that we do. But most of the enjoyment and ease come from the kids we work with.

About half of the kids we work with have special needs. For most we are their temporary hands. Here on earth they cannot do what  they need for themselves so it becomes our job to help them. They are so incredibly perfect that they serve us each day by letting us help and serve them.  I was almost suprised by my joy when I found out that one of the little boys I work with, Denny, is getting a feeding tube surgery today. I´m not positive but I believe he is 4 years old. Ever since he was a baby, he has stuggled to swallow anything, and is practically skin and bone.  He cried anytime he had to eat, and would almost always throw half of it up.  But now because of the work of one of my roommates, Abby, and many donations, I am able to see a miracle.

Another child that has had an impact upon my life is Jacob. He and Denny are both at the orphanage we volunteer at in Azogues.  Jacob also struggles to eat. We had hoped to provide Jacob with a feeding tube as well, but one of the doctors said that he does not need one. We are now hoping to put the money raised towards a speech therapist that will help him learn to swallow.  The part of him that has changed me and my outlook is his endless happiness for others.  The first time I met him, I immediately saw his smile, and since then I have seen that he smiles for others more than himself.  Whenever I work at Azogues I always want to see Jacob. Most often he is sitting in a carseat on the floor, watching the other kids play. He smiles when he sees you smiling. He smiles when he hears a child laughing. He smiles because he´s happy that others are happy.  His joy is endless because he is able to find joy all around him no matter the circumstance he is in.  I want to be more like him, because if everyone were more like Jacob, the world would be a much better place. As I look towards my lasts, I hope to remember all the memories made with the amazing kids, and give back as much as I can in these last precious moments with them.

*note that names of the children &/or orphanages have been changed to protect the privacy of the children.

Missing the 4th of July

Somehow, all things American become sooo much better here in Ecuador.  I will miss the 4th of July. I miss the front yard BBQ´s.  I miss green grass that I can play on.  I want fireworks I can see and not just hear. I will enjoy coming back where I can walk by unnoticed. I can´t wait to come back to a ward that sings the hymns the same way I do. Can´t wait for better plumbing, and trustworthy water pressure. I can´t wait to go shopping and get a big jar of PB that´s less than $20. I miss the smiles I saw everyday. But I love the smiles I see here. I love the laughter. I love each day. Every day here is another adventure as I serve the these children and add another page to my big wonderful life.

Less than Two Weeks Left...

I have less than two weeks left here in Cuenca, Ecuador, but more importantly with my kids.  That´s what these children have become. I love them so much. It is hard to think of leaving them so quickly after spending so much time with them. Seeing them progress. These kids do not get a lot of individual interaction without us, so even missing a shift with them makes me worry. Luckily, I have not had to miss even one shift with them yet. Interaction is so important for these kids. At my off site Azogues, the babies are ahead of other babies in other orphanages some areas of developement because they recieve a lot of interaction with the older children. Although it can be chaotic, the interaction is so important. It is hard to see the children in Azogues in poor conditions, but some ways very well off because of them.  The children at any orphanage, although  they may be in a better environment than some, struggle to progress developmentaly if they are not given enough interaction and stimulation.  But even in the few weeks I have been here I have seen the importance of interaction.  Marcia, who wouldn´t even reach for toys, is now playing with toys, sitting up, and rolling over.  Marianna, is talking to me, and trying to play with me. Paco, is now saying other words besides NO. Eddy, is walking short distances by himself! These children have become my life. I see them 9 hours a day. 50 hours a week. I love them soooo much.  All the dirty diapers in the world could not make me regret this trip.  The acts of love are not simply hugs. They are the services given each day. The hardest part is, I feel like I have gotten so much more out of this than the children have. All I can do is start each day with the intent to love these kids for the short amount of time I have left.

*note names of children &/or orphanages have been changed to protect the children's privacy.